Storytime: Magic (Chapter 5)

Susan gets up and goes to help Eliot find his frog. Loretta pulls out her wand and attempts a spell on her owl. Maty hides under the seat, because an owl is a bird, and as we all know, he is afraid of birds. Loretta flicks her wand in the air, says some magic words, and a spark flies off of her wand. "Aw man... it didn't work..."
"Is that a real spell?" asks Susan, returning to the car.
"Well... I think so..." says Loretta.
Matt remains under the seat.
"Why is Maty under the seat?"
"Oh... he's afraid of birds."
"Right..."
Maty crawls out from under the seat. "Put. The bird. Back."
"But this little guy is harmless!" says Loretta.
"Here," says Susan, pulling out her wand. She points it at Maty. "Pavo fortis!"
Maty sits up and strokes the owl, who coos happily up at Maty.
"See?" says Susan. "Problem solved."

"What was that?!" asks Loretta.
"That was a spell... most wizards and witches use them..."
"No, I know that!! I mean, what spell?!"
"I made him unafraid of birds."
"Aw... what fun is that?"
Just then, Eliot returns with his frog. "Got it!" he exclaims.
"AHHH!!! Amphibian!!!" Maty screams, and hides.
"Oh..." says Susan, "I forgot to mention... it makes him afraid of another type of animal... it only transfers his fears."

"Hmm..." says Loretta, "If he's afraid of amphibians, I suppose he won't be needing these chocolate frogs!" Laura peels a chocolate frog from its metallic and purple wrapper and pops it in her mouth. Maty's face turns as green as Eli's frog...

Storytime: Magic (Chapter 4)

They soon found an empty car and sat down. "Excuse me, can I join you?" asks a frizzy-haired girl.
"Sure!" they say.
"I'm Susan!" she says.
"I'm Maty and this is Loretta."
"Omigod! You are the boy with a million suitcases! It's such an honor to meet you!"
"Thank you!" says Maty, taking it as a compliment.
"So are you a freshman also?"
"Yeah I'm nervous to find out which house I'll be sorted into."
"House?"
"Yeah, which dormitory and stuff!"
"Oh... well what are the options?" They are then interrupted by a lady with a mustache who rolled a cart down the aisle... on that cart were a million different snacks and treats for them to eat.
"MMM!!! I'll take a chocolate frog, some Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, some Butter Beer... yes, thank you," says Loretta. She hands over 2 golden coins and collects her treats.
Matt takes a Bertie Bott's Bean, but after tasting, he promptly spits it out again, complaining that it was m&m flavored.
"What's wrong with m&m flavor?"
"It was red and brown m&m flavor."
"Oh." Everyone knows that those are the boring flavors of m&ms.
"So, back to houses... which ones can you be sorted into?" Loretta asks Susan.
"Well, there are four. They are BIRDS, FISH, LEGIT MERMAIDS, and POTATOES," she says.
"Ooo how exciting!" says Loretta.
"Why?"
"Because... I am a fish!"
"Phsss... you wish..." says Maty.

"Ummm hello... I'm looking for my pet... have you seen it?" says a short blonde boy.
"What is it?"
"'Well it's a bird...'"
"Ahhh!!!" Maty screams and hides.
"Hey you didn't let me finish!!! ... 'Well it's a bird...' is what i would say if it was a bird... but it's not, so I won't say that... because it's a frog..." says Eliot.

I Like Your Jacket

Oh. I like your jacket...
Oh. I like your jacket.

Oh thanks.
Oh, oh thanks.
Oh you're welcome.
Does it have a pocket?
Does what have a pocket?
Your jacket.
Yes...
Oh.
And in the pocket...
Yes...
Is a packet.
There's a packet in your pocket?
Yes.
Of your jacket?
Yes.
Whoa.
I know.
Oh I like your wallet.
Oh thanks, it's vintage.
Oh.
Yes, it's a year old.
Vintage.
Oh I like your salad.
Oh thanks... it's caesar.
Oh.
Oh I like your jacket.
Oh thanks.
Oh you're welcome.
...

Storytime: Magic (Chapter 3)

Loretta had packed four bags of stuff for the year. Maty had packed 76 duffel bags, 54 backpacks, and 23 carry-ons containing additional bags so he could bring more stuff home. Loretta had laughed so hard when he thought someone from Hogwarts was going to come pick them up in a limo. It had taken Maty and Loretta four days to get to the train station, and they encountered some problems once they arrived. They looked for platform 9 and the square root of 600000007854.567 and once they found it they were off... well not quite yet... they had to get onto the platform first - a tricky thing to do.
You just run at that wall," Loretta explained.
"That wall?" asks Maty.
"Yes."
"Okay," says Maty.
He runs head on at the wall, and smacks his head hard on the bricks.
"Ouch! Hey, why didn't it work?"
"Oh, it did... That was just for my entertainment. The transport wall is over here."
Maty glares at Loretta, but she just smiles and watches Maty struggle as he lugs his overflowing wagon of luggage over to the correct platform.
"You go first this time," says Maty.
"Okay," says Loretta, and she passes through the wall quickly, and tosses her three checked bags to the guy standing at the back of the train, then tosses her carry-on bag over her shoulder and waits for Maty to arrive on the platform. At first, dozens of bags fly through the platform wall, and then finally, Maty steps through. The little guy at the back of the train winces as he sees how many more bags he's got to squish into the train storage space. Maty unclips his laptop bag from a duffel, and Loretta and Maty both head onto the train to find seats for the 18 hour journey to Hogwarts. It's amazing what stupid things they found to entertain themselves since neither one was capable of falling asleep on the train. Luckily there was a meal cart lady who came around on the hour, so they were never left feeling hungry or thirsty. Slowly, they stepped on the train, and wandered around wondering where they could sit.

Ordering a Pizza

What time is it?!
Summer time?
No!
Aw.
It's PIZZA TIME!!!
Oh yeah.

You got a problem with that?
Well...
Yes?
It's just...
What is it?
It's full of carbs...

...

But that's okay...
Good.
Wait.
What?
We don't have money for delivery...
Who said anything about delivery?
Well how else would we get pizza?
We can cook!

...

What?!
Well...
Yes?
It's just...
What is it?
I like your jacket...
There's no point to this blog post...
Umm... yes there is... I mean, everyone wants to hear about what we're going to have for dinner.
???
Well... anything I say has a point!
Ohhh yeah ok eveyting...
So... guess what?!
What?
You just lost The Hand!
Shall we explain to our viewers what that means?
Well it's like The Game - you aren't allowed to think about The Hand and when you do, you lose!
...

Storytime: Magic (Chapter 2)

Maty and Loretta had to go shopping before they could go to their new school, so they went down to the local wizard mall where they met up with Alex Russo of Waverly Place in Abercrombie and Witch and then proceeded to spend hours in Broomingdales and SorcerersStone Creamery and JC Galleon and Wandmart... and they went to Poison Apple store for their new ipods and laptops. They also went to American Owl Outfitters and Aeropostspell.

Loretta bought 2 school gowns, 4 school sweaters, 2 school skirts, and 2 pairs of school knee socks, along with a pair of Hogwarts Converse brand shoes at Abercrombie and Witch, the clothing store. She bought a silver necklace and bracelet set with the added hoverbubble feature. She also bought a Nifty-Spiff broom with a turbo setting and cupholders, down at Broomingdales. At SorcerersStone Creamery, she bought a small ice cream with Turtle Magic Shell syrup, and Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans. She went to the ATM at JC Galleon and got out some more money to go buy some more discount clothing from that store. She bought 6 tees, and 3 comfy pairs of jeans for when she wasn't in her classes at Hogwarts. She headed over to Wandmart and bought a large, black and orange wand with phoenix feather, because it is, of course, the wand that chooses the wizard. She purchased a small fluffy purple-tinted owl from one of those little kiosks in the middle of the mall. She purchased an iPod shuffle from Poison Apple, along with a simple, functional Poison Apple Mac laptop. By this time, Loretta felt she had everything she needed, and did not by anything from American Owl Outfitters or Aeropostspell.

On that same shopping day, Maty bought:
5 school gowns
8 school sweaters
8 pairs of black school pants
4 pairs of socks
19 pairs of flipflops
3 different brooms (purple, regular, and one that had a place to plug in an ipod)
1 10-scoop triple chocolate death by chocolate fudge cake ice cream sundae with the works
nothing from the discount clothing store
20 stylish tees from American Owl Outfitters
21 stylish tees from Aeropostspell
8 different wands at Wandmart (one for each day of the week and one for special occasions)
1 large bottle of bird-repellent
2 Hogwarts engraved iPod videos (2, so he had a back-up)
1 Hogwarts engraved Poison Apple Mac laptop that had more bells and whistles than he could ever use...
*breathes*
...and the following hair products/supplies:
4 bottles Salon-Quality conditioner
3 bottles Salon-Quality shampoo
10 combs (that doubled as mustaches)
6 bottles of hair gel
2 handheld mirrors
1 16' square wall mirror...
and
1 turbo-powered Salon-Quality hairdryer...

At the end of the day, they were both happy, and felt that they had purchased all they needed. The next step was to pack their bags!

Lingo Unit 2

What time is it?!
Summer time!
No.
Aww...
It's lingo time!
Oh yeah.
Time again for us to explain all the weird terminology we use...
... so you won't feel totally out of it everytime you read this site.
Yup.
Let's start with NF.
NF means...
... wait let me explain this one... I came up with it...
Alright Maty, go.
*Clears throat* NF means "not funny"
So if we don't find something funny, and there's that awkward silence after someone says something that was supposed to be funny but wasn't, we would say,
NF!
(It's very creative, we know...)
It really is.
Maty I was being sarcastic... Wow, you're smart...
...
What?
NF!
*Ignores Maty* We also would like to include in this lingo lesson, an explanation for when we say, "Oh... I like your jacket..." (as you may have seen in a recent poll of ours)
Yes, I believe I came up with this one too... so I'll explain it.
Go on then...
Well, the phrase came to be one day, when...
... one day Maty and I were standing outside the classroom and I hadn't noticed his jacket earlier, so I told him "Oh, I like your jacket..."
But she said it sarcastically.
Did not!
But after that we decided to start saying it... when all of a sudden, while watching Twilight, Eliot notices Edward had the same jacket as Amelia! So we all went up to Amelia and said "Ohhh... I like your jacket!"
Then that day in gym...
Ahem!
What?
I was telling the story!
Sorry... geez...
No actually it's okay, go ahead.
???
Go!
... So in gym, we had these work packets and Maty (being Maty) brought the wrong packet to class, so I said "Maty... I like your packet..."
and I said "What packet?"
and I said, "Well, the one in your pocket..."
and I said, "My pocket in my jacket?"
and I said, "Yes, the packet in your pocket in your jacket!"
"IN HIS HAT!"
... ???
Amelia, how did you get into this conversation?!

Entourage Libs: Amelia

So remember those wacky fill-in-the-blank books called Mad-Libs?! You know, those things that saved you from dying of boredom on those long car journeys, before you got your i-Pod Touch. Those spiffy little activity books that made roasting marshmallows around a campfire so much more fun? Those wonderful pocket-sized books that... well, you get my point. They're cool.

So is our entourage. Okay, our "friends"... but they're still pretty amazing. So at random, we asked Amelia for various nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, interjections, conjunctions, etc.

(School House Rock = very helpful... check it out!)

We then proceeded to place the words she gave us into this story we found in the depths of our imagination. The words in bold are the words that Amelia supplied.

This tale tells of Amelia's life as a sticky (adj.) tree (n.) who likes to sled (v).

One day, Amelia was on her way to her tall (adj.) lair, when she ran into Maty and Loretta. She ran (v.) and tricked them into following her. Then, awkwardly (adv.) she tied them to a shrub (n.) using string cheese (stringy substance). She cackled stupidly (adv.) and proceeded to open a can of b.m.t. no cheese; lettuce and tomato (food) which she would poison with chocolate milkshake (liquid) and use to poison Maty and Loretta. Amelia realized that the B.R.B. (popular acronym) would soon be after her, should they find out about how she had played (v.) Maty and Loretta. Thus, she abandoned her lair and fled the scene. Her means of transportation was a scooter (means of transportation). She boarded and escaped. However, Maty and Loretta, still in Amelia's lair, had not yet felt the full effects of the poison. They used a pencil (n.) to untie themselves, and used their phone (n.) to call for help. Amelia had forgotten her computer (n.) back at her lair, so as she doubled back to collect it, she noticed the lawyers (work force) waiting for her. Maty and Loretta, however, were not angry. Instead, they suggested that perhaps, she should come to spit (v.) with them, and that as a team, they could take over the internet with http://www.theherrowshow.blogspot.com (the most amazing blogsite in the world, thank you very much...)... Amelia accepted (accepted/declined) their kind offer. This is where the story ends.

Oh, but her jolly (adj.) pet anaconda (animal) left her to go on to talk (v.) in Antarctica (place) but then felt bad so he invited Amelia, Maty, and Loretta to make that place their new headquarters.

They all lived jokingly (adv.) ever after.

Storytime: Magic (Chapter 1)

Once upon a time, Loretta was talking about a show on Nickelodeon called H2O. She said, "There was a show I saw the other day... and the characters were secretly mermaids!" At this, Maty just couldn't help asking, "Wait... were they legit mermaids?!"
Thus, the phrase, "legit mermaids" was born. It was an inside joke. It was lingo. We don't know why it went down so famously in our history of inside jokes, but it did.

That was a fun history lesson... Now it's storytime!

Now, Maty and I write stories. We write stories out of boredom, and just because it's fun. They're not anything that would merit an A in english class, but it's a semi-constructive way to pass the time, mostly over summer vacation. We pass these stories back and forth and each add a little more to the story, until we decide they're done.
And, without further ado, we present to you a story we like to call,

Magic

Chapter 1:

"I have a secret."
"What?"
"Well... you have to promise not to tell anybody..."
"I promise!"
"Well..."
"What's your secret?"
"I..."
"Yes?"
"I'm..."
"Yes?!"
"I'm a wizard!"

"Wow, this book is really good!" says Maty to Loretta. They're both reading Harry Potter.
"I know! Such great dialogue... and there are loads of adjectives!"
"I wish I were a wizard!"
"Me too!"
"...Maybe we are wizards!"
"...What?"
"Yeah! Maybe we just haven't gotten our letters yet!"
Suddenly an owl flies into the house and drops off two letters to Maty and Loretta. The return address reads, 'Hogwarts'.
"Ahhh! A bird!" screams Maty, running to hide under the couch.
"It's okay Maty, they're just owls..."
"Yeah, but that owl tried to attack me!"
Loretta pets one of the owls, and then frowns at Maty.
"That's ridiculous - look at how sweet this little guy is!"
Loretta looks away and the owl glares evilly at Maty.
"Ahhh!!!" Maty screams.
"Maty!" says Loretta.
"Chill! Just... come and read these letters."
"Okay..." Maty says, sitting down cautiously.
"Hmm..." Loretta says,
"We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"
"Who's 'we'? Loretta, are you listening to those voices in your head again?"
"No, Maty, I'm reading."
"Oh."
"Yeah," says Loretta, tossing his letter at him.
"I'm hungry, I'll be right back."
Loretta heads to the kitchen while Maty takes out his letter and begins to read.
"Whoa! Loretta, mine says that too! We both get to go to Hogwarts! We're gonna be wizards!"
Loretta clears her throat.
"I mean, I'll be a wizard... you'll be a witch."
"Thank you," Loretta calls from the kitchen, with her mouth full.
"What are you eating?"
"A sandwich... It's really tasty."
Just then, Maty realizes that the Hogwarts letter is creased from where the owl had sat on it.
"That's stupid," says Maty.
"What?" says Loretta, coming back into the living room. "What's wrong with my sandwich?! OMG Maty you're so hurtful!"
Maty stands there clueless while Loretta goes upstairs to cry. Maty looks at the owl for support, but it just hisses at him and leaves a nice little present on his acceptance letter before flying back out the window.

The Barbie Video

A lazy afternoon, a video camera, and a Barbie Dream House... oh the joys we shall have :)
Enjoy!

Hobbies

"What do Maty and Loretta enjoy doing in their spare time?" you may ask.
But you didn't ask, so... we don't have to answer.
But hypothetically...
Yes?
Alright. Maty, what do you enjoy doing in your spare time?
Geez Loretta! You've known me long enough, why don't you tell me...
Maty, I know, I'm asking so our fans will know.
Did they want to know? I didn't hear them ask...
This is hypothetical!
You're hypothetical!
You're insane!
This is insane!
Maty, it's simple. I'm asking you a question that our fans might, hypothetically, ask of us.
Okay.
I will ask you a question and you will answer it as though a fan had asked that question.
Okay.
Got it?
And how much will that be?
What?

Thanks. *hangs up cell phone*
...
Sorry... did you want some pizza too?
No!
Okay, that's cool... not everyone's a fan of pizza...
That's not it! I just... GAH!
You seem tense.
...
What?
Okay, what are your hobbies and activities?
Haha. You know that already, silly!
I know that I know.
Great, so why are you asking?
Because.
Because?
Because... I'm a fish.
You're... a fish?
Yes.
Oh...
...
Well why didn't you say so in the first place! My hobbies include golf-carting, hanging out and making videos with my amazing friends, lurking in health food stores, and playing with puppets and train sets in toy stores and weirding out the five-year olds there... I also collect stamps (I have two!) and I model sometimes as the moose for Abercrombie and Fitch. It's a lot of fun... And I sometimes have blonde moments but it just ends up being funny... I can't spell too well, but I'm getting better. I have great arms from swimming and lifeguarding. Je parle en Francais, and my middle name is Concrete.

History 101

In a far away place in a far away time,
a long long time ago,
Some guy named Caesar ruled a place called Rome,
But he was totally lame and had a salad for a name,
a long long time ago...

In a far away place in a far away time,
a long long time ago,
Some guy name Columbus found a new land,
But he was selfish and mean and wore tights - how obscene!
a long long time ago...

In a far away place in a far away time,
a long long time ago,
Some guy named Washington became the first president,
But he had bad hair, and I don't care, it was
a long long time ago...

And then there's the most famous of all...
and not so long ago...
as she stays in a hotel and sits on her terrace,
her last name is Hilton, and her first name is Paris,
and in the future we will look back and say,
that was all
a long long time ago...
We're making history, today!

Lingo Unit 1

Vocab time!

Ew, gross.
No, this is fun, I promise.
*raises eyebrows*
*death glare*
Fine.
Good. Now, we speak using so many random words and phases... If you want to be able to understand most of what's on this site, you're gonna have to--
learn the lingo!
Like, when we say "Herrow" we're just saying Hello. That's Vermontian speak for ya.
And TM means "Telepathic Moment"...
Like when we say or think something at the same time.
(That happens quite a lot.)
That's when the text turns purple,
like this!
It's cool.
Yup.
Just like this picture of a mermaid!
Is it a legit mermaid?
Of course!!!

The Entourage

Maty and Loretta have a gang of freaky funky friends. We will go in alphabetical order shall we...

Amelia - When her long brown hair isn't busy flowing in the wind, she will be scheming against anyone who annoys her (i.e. most people) and plotting malevolent plots. She first saw The Herrow Show when surfing the web for funny videos of people stealing candy from babies... when she saw their show, she just had to be a part of it.

Catie - This beautiful young lady is often found misspelling words, playing tennis and watching scary movies. She adores the color lime blue. She was island-hopping when she came across two funny strangers with a camera, and decided to have some fun.

Eliot - This theatre enthusiast is often found trying on hats and listening to Jason Mraz. He first met the pair after they saved him when he was trapped on the island by the Antarcticans. (That's literally another story completely...)

Elizabeth - As a very stylish, often hyper kinda girl, she travels a lot and when her boat crashed on their island she couldn't resist staying with Maty and Loretta. She was having too much fun cooking and riding on the fire ambulance.

Melly - Spending all her time makin' smoothies with her new blender did not help her cause when her mother told her she should get out more... Melly and Melodie have hilariously different opinions of the Jonas Brothers (but perhaps they're not so different after all...) and Melly is often found listening to her ipod, or dusting off her rubber ducky collection.

Melodie - As an avid orange m&m collector, Melodie was deemed too amazing for the world to handle, and needed a creative outlet for this enthusiasm. That's how she ended up working on The Herrow Show. As well as going to all of the Jonas Brothers' concerts, she listens to David Archuleta 24/7.

Susan - It's hard being a diva and this one knows all about it. Behind that luscious curly hair, a green-loving m&m-eater was trying to be a star and at the open call audition she was perfect - Maty and Loretta know a star when they see one!

Tara - Although this fun-loving braniac spends most of her time taking care of her 1,000,000 brothers and sisters or working at Miss Swan's Grocery Shop, she sometimes makes time for her awesome friends and participates in their television show.

Herrow!

Herrow!
Herrow!
"Herrow!" as they say in Vermont. (At least, that's what Maty says... blame him if I'm giving you false information here...)
...
What?
Looser.
(He can't spell, either...)
At least I have good hair.
True.
So anyways... This is our website...
*cough* Blogsite *cough*
Phsss... same thing...
Well it's pretty spiffy, whatever it is.
So, my loving audience... do you have a friend that is... let's say... kinda weird?
No? Well, that's surprising... but you know what that means!
You ARE the weird friend!!!
Haha TM!
They won't get what "TM" is...
Well they need to learn the lingo!
Yeah, or they're gonna be pretty darn confused here...