History 101

In a far away place in a far away time,
a long long time ago,
Some guy named Caesar ruled a place called Rome,
But he was totally lame and had a salad for a name,
a long long time ago...

In a far away place in a far away time,
a long long time ago,
Some guy name Columbus found a new land,
But he was selfish and mean and wore tights - how obscene!
a long long time ago...

In a far away place in a far away time,
a long long time ago,
Some guy named Washington became the first president,
But he had bad hair, and I don't care, it was
a long long time ago...

And then there's the most famous of all...
and not so long ago...
as she stays in a hotel and sits on her terrace,
her last name is Hilton, and her first name is Paris,
and in the future we will look back and say,
that was all
a long long time ago...
We're making history, today!