Hobbies

"What do Maty and Loretta enjoy doing in their spare time?" you may ask.
But you didn't ask, so... we don't have to answer.
But hypothetically...
Yes?
Alright. Maty, what do you enjoy doing in your spare time?
Geez Loretta! You've known me long enough, why don't you tell me...
Maty, I know, I'm asking so our fans will know.
Did they want to know? I didn't hear them ask...
This is hypothetical!
You're hypothetical!
You're insane!
This is insane!
Maty, it's simple. I'm asking you a question that our fans might, hypothetically, ask of us.
Okay.
I will ask you a question and you will answer it as though a fan had asked that question.
Okay.
Got it?
And how much will that be?
What?

Thanks. *hangs up cell phone*
...
Sorry... did you want some pizza too?
No!
Okay, that's cool... not everyone's a fan of pizza...
That's not it! I just... GAH!
You seem tense.
...
What?
Okay, what are your hobbies and activities?
Haha. You know that already, silly!
I know that I know.
Great, so why are you asking?
Because.
Because?
Because... I'm a fish.
You're... a fish?
Yes.
Oh...
...
Well why didn't you say so in the first place! My hobbies include golf-carting, hanging out and making videos with my amazing friends, lurking in health food stores, and playing with puppets and train sets in toy stores and weirding out the five-year olds there... I also collect stamps (I have two!) and I model sometimes as the moose for Abercrombie and Fitch. It's a lot of fun... And I sometimes have blonde moments but it just ends up being funny... I can't spell too well, but I'm getting better. I have great arms from swimming and lifeguarding. Je parle en Francais, and my middle name is Concrete.