Storytime: Magic (Chapter 1)

Once upon a time, Loretta was talking about a show on Nickelodeon called H2O. She said, "There was a show I saw the other day... and the characters were secretly mermaids!" At this, Maty just couldn't help asking, "Wait... were they legit mermaids?!"
Thus, the phrase, "legit mermaids" was born. It was an inside joke. It was lingo. We don't know why it went down so famously in our history of inside jokes, but it did.

That was a fun history lesson... Now it's storytime!

Now, Maty and I write stories. We write stories out of boredom, and just because it's fun. They're not anything that would merit an A in english class, but it's a semi-constructive way to pass the time, mostly over summer vacation. We pass these stories back and forth and each add a little more to the story, until we decide they're done.
And, without further ado, we present to you a story we like to call,

Magic

Chapter 1:

"I have a secret."
"What?"
"Well... you have to promise not to tell anybody..."
"I promise!"
"Well..."
"What's your secret?"
"I..."
"Yes?"
"I'm..."
"Yes?!"
"I'm a wizard!"

"Wow, this book is really good!" says Maty to Loretta. They're both reading Harry Potter.
"I know! Such great dialogue... and there are loads of adjectives!"
"I wish I were a wizard!"
"Me too!"
"...Maybe we are wizards!"
"...What?"
"Yeah! Maybe we just haven't gotten our letters yet!"
Suddenly an owl flies into the house and drops off two letters to Maty and Loretta. The return address reads, 'Hogwarts'.
"Ahhh! A bird!" screams Maty, running to hide under the couch.
"It's okay Maty, they're just owls..."
"Yeah, but that owl tried to attack me!"
Loretta pets one of the owls, and then frowns at Maty.
"That's ridiculous - look at how sweet this little guy is!"
Loretta looks away and the owl glares evilly at Maty.
"Ahhh!!!" Maty screams.
"Maty!" says Loretta.
"Chill! Just... come and read these letters."
"Okay..." Maty says, sitting down cautiously.
"Hmm..." Loretta says,
"We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"
"Who's 'we'? Loretta, are you listening to those voices in your head again?"
"No, Maty, I'm reading."
"Oh."
"Yeah," says Loretta, tossing his letter at him.
"I'm hungry, I'll be right back."
Loretta heads to the kitchen while Maty takes out his letter and begins to read.
"Whoa! Loretta, mine says that too! We both get to go to Hogwarts! We're gonna be wizards!"
Loretta clears her throat.
"I mean, I'll be a wizard... you'll be a witch."
"Thank you," Loretta calls from the kitchen, with her mouth full.
"What are you eating?"
"A sandwich... It's really tasty."
Just then, Maty realizes that the Hogwarts letter is creased from where the owl had sat on it.
"That's stupid," says Maty.
"What?" says Loretta, coming back into the living room. "What's wrong with my sandwich?! OMG Maty you're so hurtful!"
Maty stands there clueless while Loretta goes upstairs to cry. Maty looks at the owl for support, but it just hisses at him and leaves a nice little present on his acceptance letter before flying back out the window.